Monday, March 12, 2012

Wellness at home, listen to your children...and children will listen back.

I am the father of three intelligent children. They each have a unique and engaging personality with their own individual need for self expression.  Sometimes that self expression goes a little overboard and my parenting skills are put to the test.  Parenting is an OJT occupation.  There is no training possible that will make you ready for the rigors of being a parent except the experience and a good bit of prayer an example being, "Oh Lord, Please give me the strength to not strangle this child, Amen."

My kids know more about computers than I do and can navigate through a computer menu without even thinking about it.  I need a sledge hammer and a stick of dynamite so that if the computer doesn't do what I want it to I can kill it.  Yes, expensive but it is satisfying to stand over that smoldering, demon possessed  machine and know you've bested Satan himself, until your son or daughter says "Dad...The reset button is right here." Thankfully I've taken to listening to my kids 'sorta'. I still have my dad moments, I did say parenting is an OJT occupation didn't I?

At 17 I knew everything, my parents were idiots and girls loved me.  I had all the answers and had plans for the world to lay itself at my feet.  Grand and magnificent plans they were to...Yachts, private islands...and bombshells throwing themselves at me in every conceivable way. Imagine my disappointment when I discovered that I wasn't all that great and girls weren't throwing themselves at me.  Then my dad got smart all of a sudden...CRAP!!!  It was at this awakening that I began listening to him that I started to learn that I was not the all knowing guru of all earthly things. 

I may have learned this sooner had I listened. But as I knew everything I didn't have to right?  On the other hand had my parents listened to my 17 year old babble and engaged in conversation (note I said conversation, not yelling) of why my ideas were 'incomplete' and explained to me (like I was an adult with a functioning mind) I may have spared myself the humiliation of being an obnoxious twit in my early adulthood.

Listening to my kids, when I remember my own advice, I am often surprised at their depth of thought and reasoning.  You may be surprised at how well your kids think.  It is important to let them have their ideas and to 'discuss' with them your differences of opinion while letting them be their own person.  Do not think for a moment that because they are 'your' kids that they are miniature versions of you. They are dynamic and surprisingly insightful...if you let them be so.  It is not easy to do...trust me...but when I do I find myself proud that I have three incredible kids who actually do think.

 Cool.

No comments:

Post a Comment