Friday, September 30, 2011

A scary story for Halloween. Based on true events.

Once upon a time there was a construction worker who had a terrible accident in which his leg was severely injured. It was thought that he might just lose the leg it was damaged so badly.  Luckily the treating doctor was a skilled surgeon and knew  how to fix the leg so he would not lose it.

 However, this man belonged to a PPO network and the adjuster working for the PPO was an evil number cruncher..more interested in the profit margin than the well being of the people he was supposed to help. Upon seeing the request for surgery...to repair the leg...his eyes popped out of his head..."Oh NO!!!" He cried..."this cannot be!!! The cost of repair is too much for me!!!" So the evil adjuster sent a note to the hospital..and said "Amputate, amputate...it is cheaper..how dare you presume I will pay more than I must?!!" 

Horrified the patient thought is life was over. "How can I work without my leg?" he cried bitterly to his wife.  Then the fairy princess of Chicago..the fair Lady Oprah heard of this mans plight...and decried to the world the tragic decision of the mans PPO.  Upon this the world cried fowl...from the lowliest peasant to the highest kings...Fowl!! Fowl!! the world cried as one.

The doctor, fair man that he was, agreed to do the surgery...regardless of the PPOs horrendous decision to take his leg for no other reason than cost. "How about his quality of life?!!" he shouted.

Alas...deaf were the ears of the Adjuster....who chuckled..and said..."I shan't pay a dime...let him..pay for his leg if me must..I did not cause the accident....it was not my fault I say..it is not my fault he got injured why must I pay?"

 Along came a noble and thoughtful attorney "I'll take this case!!" he cried. "I will not suffer such outrage!!"

And the noble attorney fought..and fought....for the rights of this man.  The evil adjuster...fought well...but had not the spirit of righteousness in his heart...and soon lost the will to fight and so was vanquished...sorely.

 The noble attorney took the battle to the adjuster and made him pay for the surgery, then made him pay for the emotional damage is greed had caused...then also took a nice tidy fee for his trouble, which the evil adjuster paid.

The Evil adjuster...wrote the check...and lamented....."Oh Woe...is me... how could this happen to me? How will I profit anon...How can I go on?"  His lament was heard...by another evil PPO adjuster who bought his company and paid him well...and the first evil adjuster moved to Cancun.  The new evil adjuster...was better able to perpetrate evil upon his newly acquired victims...and profited nicely by pretending to care but finding new, creative ways not to pay....which he continues to this very day....

 The good man kept his leg and lived a good life..no thanks to the PPO...the attorney retired....and the evil adjuster went insane...drinking tropical, fruity adult beverages..lamenting his inability to make a profit harming the innocent....It is said that he died...screaming a curse.."NO, NO..I will not pay...I will not...I will not ever pay...I say!!!!"  And so the curse of HMO and PPOs were cast upon the wind in his final breath.  So that his evil is now ever present..and the same curse is repeated day in and day out 'NO, NO I will not pay, I will not, I will not ever pay...I say!!!"  by adjusters the world over.

 The End.

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